Yesterday I had an appointment with my OB/GYN to hear the heartbeat of our baby. I had an ultrasound at 8 weeks, but it was done on top of my stomach, so the baby just looked like a bean and didn’t resemble a baby at all. I was so excited about yesterday’s appointment because I hadn’t “seen” or “heard” from my baby in 6 weeks (I’m currently about 15 weeks pregnant). To be honest, I had a little bit of anxiety too. My pregnancy with Connor was so easy, and I was so lucky. I was never sick, never tired, and I didn’t gain weight until the last 2 months. It has been the opposite with this little one. I’ll save those details for another post.
My doctor talked with us before we heard the heartbeat. My blood work came back great and I’ve actually lost a pound since my last visit. I was shocked because I am showing big time. She reassured me that losing the weight was fine and that most of my “show” was bloat. I also told her about my disdain for food. Again, that is a whole post in itself. She told me to eat whatever I could, which is mostly ice cream and Palmetto Cheese right now.
After our conversation, it was time to listen to our baby’s heart. My doctor is fabulous, and before she began told me that it could take a few minutes, not to worry, and I would hear baby’s heartbeat before I left her office. She was right – it did take a few minutes. We heard my heartbeat and then some swishing. She said that Baby Bean (our nickname until we find out the gender) was very active and we were hearing him/her move around. My doctor said, “If we don’t hear the heartbeat soon, I’ll get you an ultrasound so that you can see the baby.” I told her that I would love an ultrasound because I wanted to see my baby.
Literally the moment I said that, we heard the baby’s heartbeat flying! I started laughing and could not stop! Andy and my doctor got a laugh out of it too. Baby Moore seems to have a sense of humor. Of course, my doctor couldn’t find the heartbeat after that because I couldn’t control my laughter. She looked at me with a smile on her face and said, “I tell you what. I didn’t hear a heartbeat, so let’s get you an ultrasound.” She knew how badly I wanted to see my baby, and even though we heard the heartbeat for a brief moment she was sweet enough to let us see our miracle baby!
Isn’t our baby beautiful? Look at that nose! It is absolutely mine! Our baby looked great! Of course, the baby had her/his legs clenched together and ankles crossed so we couldn’t see the gender (our appointment for that is tomorrow). Our baby was incredibly active too. We watched him/her stretch and put their arms over their head. Baby moved the whole time we watched. I’m thinking the baby likes exercise just like his/her parents! Of course, I cried like a baby after seeing my baby.
I needed to see my baby yesterday, and I believe God knew my heart needed it. This week has probably been the most difficult one in my pregnancy. I have cried every single day this week, multiple times. Again, I did not experience this with Connor. I pride myself in being a strong woman who knows when to be emotional and when it is inappropriate. I have lost all control of my emotions this week. I’ve cried over being hungry, I’ve cried over food tasting awful, I’ve cried over the smell of a restaurant… I’m thankful for my husband and great friends who I can vent to and who don’t think I’m nuts.
After seeing my sweet, sweet baby though, my mood has changed for the better. I needed to see that miracle of ours to push through these crazy emotions and difficult days. What a blessing I have inside of me. We’ve been told by many doctors, nurses and police officers that were on the scene of Andrew’s accident that they were surprised to see him survive. Not a day goes by that I don’t look at him and think of how luck y I am that he is beside me. By all accounts he shouldn’t be on this planet with me. How fortunate am I that I have him and I now have his baby within me? I know what a miracle they both are.